Every now and then i kept thinking about my own life and future... Had no choice but to be worry about mostly everything that is going on in my life. Only recently, i really and fully realized that i wanted to be a full time musicians or an entertainer, not very specific on which area. But I'm sure of my own intention and wishes. For about almost a year, i kept myself quite and did some reflection on myself and meditate... with much prayers too! I realized many things that i don't see back then when i was studying. Well i guess maybe when we are too occupied with our own life, we tend to lost track and don't see that little things in our life...
Many years back when i was about 10 to 12 years old, i liked to watched lion dance performances. I will never missed any of their performance and will try to watched everything that i can. I find it interesting and awesome back then, but when i think about it properly, i was actually attracted to the drum beats. I enjoyed the drum sound more than the whole routine. I was so attracted to it, to a point that i can actually memories every beat of the whole drum routine. I would usually play my smaller version of that drum on the roof top everyday and sometimes for few hours... I enjoyed beating it and somehow i felt like i was so in love with it. When i think about it now, i was quite surprised that i was quite precise on copying the routine and was so good with it until one day, i was invited to join the lion dance group and invited to be their drummer... BUT unfortunately it was rejected by my mom. I guess i could understand why she did that back then... =)
After I'm done with my primary school life, i went to a secondary school, St. Joseph. When i was there, i decided to join the marching band and wanted to audition as a drummer. But luck was not at my side... I was asked to audition as a trumpeter and i remembered my first note that i blew out from that cornet was a PERFECT G!. It somehow impressed my music teacher and guess what?! I ended becoming a trumpeter. So basically my whole 5 years there, i serve as a trumpeter to the band. I would say i was quite unique player in my own ways. I'm not good with my scores but naturally i was quite good with my instrument because i was told by my few music instructors that i produced a very sweet tone with my trumpet. Back then, i was famous for mixing 3 trumpet parts in my playing. Not being really good to actually read my score, i played mostly by ears and by heart. Naturalist... So pretty much, that is what i was doing in my whole secondary school life.
Done with school life, i went to college and all. Year 2006, i remembered i start serving as a percussionist in a sunset band, a band that serve and play during mass every Saturday. How it started was when i was tagging along with my friends to one of the practices, i was called by this guy named SAM. He was a drummer of that band and was quite known for his drumming skills in Sarawak and slowly Malaysia. But in any case, i know nothing about him back then. So as i was saying, i was called by him and he asked if i am free and wanted to help out... so i said why not, since i am free and waiting for my friend to finish the practices. He gave me a practice Conga and asked me to play it for the mass later. I was quite shock but quite happy at that time. Because playing for mass in the band was one of my wishes back then. So i accepted it and learn some few basics and there goes... since that incident until current now, I am still playing as their percussionist and also in their music ministry in church. After much practice and experience, i got better now and trying to be better than what i am now.
In the music ministry, i am one of their main musicians. I'm actually quite proud to be in this team and felt honored and thankful. It has taught me a lot in many was as a musicians and as a person. It has develop me to be a better person and taught me to see things in different perspective. We did events every year and it's a mixture of large scale events and small... Exposed me to be a better musicians on stage and off stage. I felt very thankful to God for caring for me and showing me all this beautiful side of life as a musicians. In the team, i think again... i was known for not being able to play a permanent or consistent pattern for every sets. I tend to play differently every-time. Naturally, i am the type that will listen and feel it with my heart and somehow all the beats will fall into place. I guess i am pretty blessed with that side of me and i am quite proud of it. In music, with any instrument or voice, i could somehow just free-style everything. BUT as a good musicians, i think it would be good for me to learn all those small things and basics. It will come handy sooner or later in the future.
Now i am slowly receiving what i wished for and what I've prayed for BUT when it really appeared in front of me, i don not know how to react towards it. But i believe i have to start somewhere in order for all this pieces to take place. Dreaming to be a musicians or as a entertainer is actually hard. Dream is one thing but to put it into action is also another story... Talking with no actions is no point right? But anyhow, Because of all this small things that i don't see, i kind of wasted few years of my way younger days doing things that i don't actually had very much interest in. I think i had that chance once back then but i let it pass by just like that. I was very indecisive back then. I might still now but it is so much better then that time. From all this, i can conclude that i was really and quite into music since then. Enjoyed it and never get bored and although got a lot of scolding and stress, i still came back for more music. This is how i know that i really want to do this but of course, i am scared to walk this path. I would always and all the time pray and asked for guidance from the Lord in everything i do. He has been so loyal to me and had showed me al lot of opening for this. Now it's my turn to act and try it out.
Dreams.. as a musicians.. is it? I would say YES and i would really want to try to see how far can i go and excited to know what will this whole experience show me along the way. All those surprises that will knock me hard and either it's good or bad, i think it will be a great journey. If i don't do it now, i think i will regret in the future when i can't do it anymore later. Nothing is easy at first and also nothing is impossible... it is all about how you want to see it and how you want to take it... your mind develop that whole situation and somehow whatever you imagine it to be, it might be true.. so POSITIVE attitude is good to practice at all time. Although i am still not sure how my own life journey will be and what will happen in the future, i am still hoping for more chance in everything. As i walked through everything, i am praying that HE will guide me through it and friends around me to support me and family to advice me in my every choices that i make.
Nothing is easy and i believe nothing is hard as well, as long as you put your heart into it and enjoy the whole process of developing it. Prayer is a must and to include God in your every actions is a MUST. Without him, there is no YOU and you wont have what you have now... all you have is His and all that is His, you are only borrowing it and sort of a sharing from His part. I believe all of this can be applied in everything that you do in your life... always Believe in yourself, Trust in Him that He will guide you through it and have Faith in Him and yourself that you can do it. Keep a positive thinking in you and all that positive attitude will bring you good.
Proverbs 3:6 - Seek his will in all you do and he will show you which oath to take.
" The give of Faith is the ability to Sustain Unwavering Confidence in the promises of God, in the face of Impossibility..." - Dr Michael Youssef
